When searching for a name for this blog, I had to first decide what kind of content I was willing to offer. Clearly, I knew I wanted to share stories and my perspective on life and the world, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized how much different my world is to that of most people. But isn’t that the point of writing this? My realities don’t always align with the mainstream, a result of personal experiences and a dash of compromised mental health. (Notably, these two items are not mutually exclusive.)
It is, by all definition, a collection of writings that represents my often distorted reality.
There is fear in vulnerability. It has been many, many years, since I’ve put myself out there, shared my past and my fears, revealed myself to be far more sensitive than many realize. The last time I did so, it backfired tremendously, and I’ve spent the better part of a decade putting the pieces back together, a little differently than how they used to fit. I’m hoping this won’t end with similar regrets.
I’ve long believed myself to be irrevocably broken, perhaps even unworthy of repair. However, as I continued to piece together the remains of my life, discarding the shards I no longer had a need or desire to keep, I found newer, shinier pieces. These are the ones that seemed to fit more snugly, more comfortably, completing me far more than than the old. And with those new additions, I began finding my voice again. And so, with a gentle push from those around me, I logged into WordPress, took a deep breath, and opened a clean, blank page.
It is my hope to be understood, as opposed to judged. Whether that’s the outcome I find, I do not know. But for the first time in very long, I’m willing to try.
For now, it’s time to end this intro page and decide what my first official blog entry will be. In the words of a very wise man:
I don’t know where I’m going from here, but I promise it won’t be boring.
Bowie. That wise man was none other than David Bowie, and get used to references about him, because I promise he’ll appear often in my personal musings. And at some point in this journey, maybe I’ll even explain the origin of my love and admiration for the Thin White Duke. Because I assure you, it’s not as superficial or as predictable an answer as one might imagine.
Then again, I’m sure you’ll soon find there are few things about me that are as simplistic and obvious as they appear. After all, with a blog name like this, would you expect something “normal” and predictable?
Let’s do this.